Relationships…Marriage…yada yada…
July 8, 2009
Perhaps it has to do with my Caribbean/black heritage where it is expected that one should have been married or have kids by let’s say 26 (using my age as an example). It could be that some are also overly anxious to eat some wedding cake, others (mostly parents) might find it to be a fulfillment of their own dreams.
Notwithstanding it being the backdrop for He (God) creating Eve as Adam’s companion, it does not exclusively put being with someone in the context of romantic relationships. I believe that this could also be easily applied to platonic relationships.
Contrary to what many believe, ‘being alone’ (or being single), is not synonymous with loneliness. I am currently single, for example, and I am actually quite content in that I am single, while I’m single. Taking that into account, some have argued that I am selfish for “keeping all of the love” to myself. I beg to differ. Being single does not mean that one cannot have or maintain sincere (platonic) relationships that are emotionally satisfying (in the reciprocal).
I am fortunate enough to have a strong network of friends who are not only emotionally, but spiritually grounded. By and large that plays a significant role in keeping me as grounded and emotionally fulfilled as I am today.
Many are not as lucky as I am in that regard, but that should not be the reason to get into a romantic relationship. I have determined that I will never get into a romantic relationship because ‘it is expected’ or so as to quell the misguided suspicions of who I call a few over-zealous bigots.
As someone who likes things on his own terms, I am often peeved when anyone tries to push me into a relationship. Personally I find that the driving force of a (platonic or romantic) relationship should be on my own term
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Families, friends and even associates should be careful not to force their ideals of Mr. or Ms. right on anyone. It is not fair to either party if one enters a relationship for the purpose of fulfilling the fantasies of a third party.
Divorce rates are as high as they are today firstly because many are simply not ready for a relationship but still jump in because of the ‘it is expected’ factor. Secondly, many get caught up in loving the idea of having a romantic partner rather than loving the partner themselves. Both are wrong reasons.
Relationships are important and even though a (gentle) nudge is sometimes needed, they should not be forced on anyone. Personal choice, not pressure should be the determining factor. We can chose whether or not we wish to have a relationship with God; the same principle applies (or should apply) to platonic or romantic relationships.
Relationships are important. God Himself exists in what is the perfect relationship: the Trinity (God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit). He created us for relationships (platonic and romantic). It is not His desire that we be alone.
He wants us first to however develop a relationship with Him. Following His principles can play a significant role in developing healthy and successful relationships. Our relationship with Him ultimately affects our emotional well-being and the state of our emotional well-being determines the quality of the relationships that we get into. That said, He (through His word) must be the final arbiter when assessing potential or current relationships.
Akhenaton
Resources
Some famous people from the Bible who were single: Paul, John the Baptist and Jesus Christ.
Suggested reading: They were single too: 8 Biblical Role Models
Love…the action word…
February 14, 2009
I just got off the phone with a friend who was angry that her boyfriend was yet to call or give her a gift for Valentine’s Day.
As great as it is to hear them, the words “I love you” do not always suffice for me. ‘Love’ is meaningless minus action. It is the ‘actions’ of another individual that can prove or disprove their love.
I have no doubts that my parents and other loved ones love me; that is because this was proven and continues to be proven
to me from time to time.
I have no doubt that God loves me; that is when I take into account that He sent His only Son to die for me so that I would have the opportunity to receive the free gift of salvation.
The Bible speaks of love as an action word in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. It is described as patient and kind. It goes on to say that it (love) does not envy or boast and is not proud. It is not rude, nor is it self-seeking. Love is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs… and always protects, trusts, hopes and preserves.
The five languages of love according to Author Gary Chapman are quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service and physical touch. Mother Theresa of Calcutta once said that “good works are links that form a chain of love”.
Now, the aforementioned are obviously idealistic. We are humans which means that we are fallible. Lovers, friends and family tend to test our love from time to time. But love is not about feelings, it’s about choices. God gave us the power to choose how we respond, how we respond or act out in different circumstances. How should we respond? Take another look at that Bible Verse in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
Today as we celebrate St Valentine’s Day, let us not get so caught up in what commercialism has made the day to be that we forget what it truly represents.
St Valentine’s Day is not about Cupid, red hearts and bouquets of roses (not that there is anything wrong with those things). St Valentine’s Day is about a four letter word that for me is an action word. That action word is ‘love’.
This St Valentine’s Day, may ‘love’ not just be a noun for you, but an action word.
Wishing you love and a Happy St Valentine’s Day!
Akhenaton
mail@pharaohsprotege.comAkhenaton
Love in action…
November 4, 2007
I had the privilege of spending this afternoon with about 20 handicapped adults in Elicott City, Maryland. The occasion was a Birthday Party hosted by a beautiful couple from my church who have been doing this for a number years.
Here are some of the pictures…
Janet and her husband David
David and Janet with some of their guests
David helping open presents
(Me) Giving a present to the birthday guy
Janet with one of her guests
Matthew 25:45
‘…I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me (Jesus)…’
Resources
It’s been 2 decades and 6 years!
July 4, 2007
Time flies, doesn’t it? 26 years have gone by since I took the picture to the left; I was two months old!
Today, July 04, 2007, I celebrate my birthday….my 26th birthday!
I am truly grateful for my friends, my family and everyone else who has blessed me over the years.
From the bottom of my heart, I thank each and everyone of you for your continued love and support.
Most importantly, I thank you for the gift of you!
With love and from my heart, to yours,
Akhenaton
The authenticity of relationships…revealed in adversity
March 4, 2007
I have been taught from an early age that true character is revealed over a period of time; principally, in a time of adversity.Survivor Tracks by DC
January 26, 2007
Here are a few select lyrics from their songs…
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I’m a survivor! I’m not gon give up! I’m not gon stop! I’m gon work harder! I’m a survivor! I’m gonna make it! I will survive! Keep on survivin’! From the album The Writing’s on the Wall
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Aint no feelin like being free! When your mind’s made up and your heart’s in the right place. Yeah! Aint no feelin like being free! When you done all you could, What was missunderstood, It’s all good, Aint no feelin like bein free! Im like an eagle set free. And finally I’m looking out for me. Aint no feelin like being free! Cos my mind’s made up. And my heart’s in the right place. Yeah. From the album Destiny Fulfilled
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I’m grateful for my struggles, Trials and tribulations I’ve been through. I’ve realized no one can love like You do Thank you, Lord, hallelujah. I feel your presence near Thank you, Lord, hallelujah I won’t hold back my tears. I gave you my trust And you took me out of the dark rain My Lord I survived it. From the album Survivor
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Have you ever loved somebody? So much that you was just too blind to see OOOH yes! All of the pain, that they was causing you (causing you) Ladies, do you feel me? (do you feel me?) Have you ever loved somebody? So much that you went against the right thing that you should do OHH, OHHH Then its time to make a change (time to make a change) From the album Destiny Fulfilled
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Please dry your eyes, young girl Don’t cry, you’re beautiful It’s not your fault, young girl Don’t cry, you’re beautiful You’re not the one to blame Soon it will be okay One day you’ll realize Your beauty. From the album Survivor
Keep on Survivin’ bro!
From my heart, to yours,
Akhenaton
Moving on
March 14, 2006
For me, after much thought, I realized that in order for me to get back to the pinnacle of my emotional well-being, I needed to separate Desire from Necessity.
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Desires tend to rival positivity and stand in the way of happiness.
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Necessities do not rival positivity and generally lead to true happiness.
It is by strictly differentiating necessities from desires that we will know what it takes to truly move on. It takes understanding that (as one writer puts it) “the past is the past, the present is a gift, that’s why now is called the PRESENT!”
