um…hello….God?
October 10, 2007
On the other end of the telephone yesterday afternoon was a relative of mine with some not so pleasant news. “Your mom is in the hospital” she said….”mild heart attack” she continued, after I briefly interrupted her.
On her account, she (my mom) “will be fine” and will remain hospitalized for observation for a couple days. Yet, I remain troubled. Troubled, mostly because she is my mom- even after she reassured me that she is “feeling good” when I spoke with her (from her hospital bed) last night.
Intuitively, I opened my mouth and started to pray. Started, then stopped. I did not know where to start, I did not know what to say. This was the case for quite a while. That was until I stopped trying to ‘pray’ and started to simply tell God what was on my heart:
“God, I’m scared and I’m at a loss for words. I need you to make her well. Please. I want to say ‘let Your will be done’ because that’s what I was taught, but (sigh) I rather MY will be done. I want to trust you… I really do! But that you can be such a mystery man when you’re ready…so unpredictable at times… I’m scared that Your will may not be my (or my family’s) will. Please increase my (our) faith in you as I (we) yield to that which you have planned for her life…our lives”
From my heart, to yours,
Akhenaton
Colin,
My heart goes out to you, because I can so understand. It’s hard when the people in your life that have always seemed invincible begin to have health issues.
Always remember that God is in control and knows best. Even when His will is not ours.
It was awesome that you were able to just talk to God. It is a gift to have such a close relationship that you can just talk to Him.
My Uncle Bill told me once that Satan was really attacking our family. It’s because of the strength of our family’s faith. Your family is the same. Use that strength to get you through. God is using it to strengthen you!
I believe that God will heal your mother. I’m praying for your Mom, you and your entire family.
James 1: 2-3 NIV
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
Brie!