Me……Jaded? Huh?
February 22, 2006
Most people agree that I am a very generous and loving person. Most people know that I’ve spent a great deal of my life being a crowd pleaser. Most people have taken advantage of this fact or mis-construed my loving-kindness as a show of interest.
With thousands of dollars spent, me covering the tab 95% of the times I go out with someone, a number of people left broken-hearted because I couldn’t return to them the love/ feelings they’ve had for me and me time and time again making myself the victim (even in my innocence); I think the time has come that I re-evaluate the way(s) I interact with people.
Jaded, by definition is “to be worn out”. I am ‘worn out’ when it comes to people.
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Is there anyone out there who does not have an agenda i.e. to get out of me as much as possible?
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Is there anyone out there who does not come with pre-conceived notions i.e. what they expect of me without knowing the real me?
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Is there anyone out there that understands that I am a unique/ independent thinker and that it is not such bad thing to think outside the box and that it is okay to agree to disagree without consequences?
The concept of Akhenaton Reloaded as would relate to Jaded.
The word reloaded speaks of a new/ fresh start. What does it mean for me?
Here’s how I am reloaded
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I stopped allowing anyone to take advantage of me (and I mean this in the broadest sense). The truth is that I am obligated to NO ONE (and no one is obligated to me) and I can live/ survive independent of anyone who is not acting in my best interest.
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I have started saying ‘NO’ when my heart says ‘no’.
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I demand (indirectly or not) that I get my own space and understand that it is okay to do so IN SPITE OF what the other person is going through.
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Make it known that My thoughts/ feelings are important and should be put into consideration when people expect things of me.
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I am able to let go and allow nature to take its course. There are some things I cannot change/ do with my own strength. IT IS OKAY TO LET GO.
The concept of Jaded as it would apply to how I relate to people henceforth
In light of what was said above, how am I going to relate to people in my ‘jaded’ state of mind? Does it mean that I am going to adopt an attitude of “I DO NOT CARE!” ? Hardly so.
It simply means that a lot more things are going to be put under the microscope.
Secondly, my intentions and feelings will be more clearly stated so as to not allow for confused notions.
Nothing can change that I am a generous person, but I will exercise generosity with scrutiny.
From my heart, to yours,
Akhenaton
